The Need for Date Nights

When my husband and I went through pre-cana classes before we were married, our pastor told us “Always remember your spouse is more important than your kids.” At first, I didn't quite understand, but after thinking about it, it makes complete sense. Kids thrive in a loving home where the parents are in harmony with each other and love each other. That is not to say there won’t be disagreements between parents, but I am a strong believer that kids should never see those argument. I don’t want to give my kids any worry that mom and dad don’t love each other or are “fighting.”

That being said, it is very easy to forget to make time to work on your relationship when you get caught up in every day life. There are kids, work, meals, laundry and by the end of the day you realize you only talked to your husband about the weather, the newest antic the kids did and the fact that we should really do something about the cost of propane. However, you are very tired so you kiss each other good night and think you will do better in the morning only to have a couple days go by. After 4 years of this, I still love my husband deeply, but know the spark needs to be flamed so we don't fall into a rut.

That is the reason I decided we needed to have more scheduled date nights. And not just the at home date nights, but actually getting sort of dressed up and leaving the house without kids (and trying not to spend the whole time talking about the kids). This is something that we normally do around 3-4 times a year and it mostly has to do with me. Why? Because I can’t bring myself to find and hire a babysitter.

The only people who have babysat for my kids are family members or friends I have known for 8-12 years. I am not very trusting of people sometimes and the thought of just hiring someone to watch my most prized positions makes me very nervous. I just assume anyone I hire will either harm the kids, set fire to the house or come back when we are asleep and kill us all. Okay, I am slightly being dramatic, but seriously I just didn’t like the thought of it. After struggling with it for some time, I finally decided I need to put aside all my worry and trust God that He will send someone who will watch the kids and isn’t a serial killer.

After asking some moms from the local Catholic home schooling group, I have been able to find not just one, but two young girls that could babysit our kids. Hooray! I know God must have been at work in sending these girls to us because I feel completely at ease with them and don’t have the normal nervousness when I think about babysitters.

So to make a long story short, it was the first time in 3 years that we were able to go out near Valentine’s Day and all because I put my hubby before the kids and also put my trust in God to find us a babysitter.

To start off, I am planning on at least two date nights per month. They won’t be expensive dates or anything like that, but just a chance to get away and remove the focus on the kids. Plus, we will be able to drive my husband’s convertible and we can feel like 20 somethings again and not the 30 year old who have back issues…haha!

I can't believe this picture was taken 7 years ago!
What about you, did you have a hard time finding a babysitter? Do you make time for normal date nights with your spouse?


  1. "I just assume anyone I hire will either harm the kids, set fire to the house or come back when we are asleep and kill us all."

    HA! So true. I look back on myself as a 14-year-old and think even *I* wouldn't hire me. Glad you were able to find some responsible, non-stabby sitters!

    1. Haha...I don't think I would have hired myself either!

  2. You are a shining example of the Proverbs 31 woman. I love your insight and willingness to obey. You're an inspiration.